Return to Mimas
by Andy0001z
Summary: Lister wakes up to find that he is back in his old locker on Mimas, why is he here and why can he remember only certain things from Red Dwarf. Will the officer in the blue Space Corps uniform and the fake mostache be of any help? Enjoy my take on the early days of Lister and Rimmer as something in space and time goes badly bonkers.


**Intro: So I know I should be finishing another fic, but this idea blasted into my head and I wanted to get it out there. So Lister wakes to find himself back on Mimas, he has some memories of RedDwarf but not a lot, why is he there, was it all a dream? Find out in my little story. Please review, I like reviews. Any flaming will be meet with sausages for the BBQ.**

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**Wake up Chapter 1**

Lister woke up with a start, it was pitch black with the exception of four very narrow strips of light next to his eight ear. His legs hurt badly, aching from cramp and why was his body was folded into this tight space? "Oh my god, I'm dead, or rather not dead but rather buried alive!" thought Lister.

He slowly nudged his head round to peer out of one of the narrow slits where the light was coming from. His eyes slowly adjusted to the light and then he suddenly registered where he was. "Holy SMEG, how the smeg am I back here!" he blurted. Lister forced his right arm against the door and with a pop it flung open ejecting him out onto the hard cold floor of the shuttle station.

Lister slowly stretched out and pulled himself to his feet, glancing around. "Holly where am I?" he said absently, no reply came from Holly. "Holly?" said Lister again glancing down at his wrist as if he expected something to be there but wasn't. Lister began to shiver, not that he was overly cold but the sensation that things where very wrong, very wrong indeed.

* * *

Arnold J Rimmer, strolled down the landing stairs into the arrivals lounge, he briskly walked through it past the rows of duty free shops and out into the main greetings hall. Rimmer looked left and right scanning the faces of those waiting eagerly for loved ones, or men in far to tight suits looking uncomfortable in their silly hats waiting for some trumped up business person or VIP. No such greeting for Rimmer, nobody was waiting for him on Mimas. Rimmer pushed through a gap. "Excuse me, Excuse me Mr, Oi move it buddy!"

Rimmer broke free of the last of the group and checked his pockets, yep his wallet was still there. He had learnt that arrival groups were not always waiting for persons but rather what they carried. Rimmer checked the signs and spotted the one for the Taxi rank and set off in that direction.

* * *

Lister looked around at the terminal, why was he here, where was Red Dwarf? What the smeg was happening. He was just thinking he was hungry when he spotted someone he was sure he new but for some reason his memory was sketchy as to his name. Lister dashed or rather stumbled towards the man in a blue Space Corps uniform and what was clearly a fake moustache.

Rimmer saw the man veer drunkenly towards his direction. "Oh now what?" He thought. The individual clearly had very little money and was not the sort of person he wanted to be seen with, so Rimmer changed direction and headed to the nearest exit.

"Hey you." Shouted Lister. "You with the fake moustache!"

Rimmer ignored him and pressed on.

"Hey, I need to talk to you buddy, I think I know you."

Rimmer slapped the door opener and ran through, leaving the clearly out of breath man behind him.

"Nobody messes with Arnold J Rimmer." Muttered Rimmer as he climbed into a bright yellow space hopper taxi.

Lister had stopped and was leaning against the exterior of the building breathing hard. "Smeg! He spluttered. Then seeing the yellow taxi rank something in this memory gave him an idea. "Shag town!" He headed towards the back of the rank and the last empty taxi.

* * *

Rimmer sat back and watched as the female droid synthetic grinded her hips at him. "This is much more classy than that other joint" he thought.

The droid named Candy stopped grinding and moved towards his seat. Rimmer held out his hand as to indicate her to stop. "Actually I think I'll just watch today thank you kindly, my nether regions are still a little saw after my last trip into town" He said. The droid stopped, turned away from him and bent over forwards showing her fully synthetically shaped buttock curves to him, making Rimmer gulp. Just as he was about to change his mind about certain activities when the curtains were flung open and the man from the shuttle lounge hall burst in, quickly followed by the house security.

"I got to see him, let me go!" protested Lister as the large security bot attempted to drag him backwards. Listers brain screamed for something to say and then it did. "You're not an officer are you Mr?" he shouted.

Rimmers eyes widened, how did this scruffy individual know, was his moustache that bad?


End file.
